The DARKer side - Elsword
by ZekeWildfire
Summary: IT'S CAUSE THE MAIN CHARACTER'S BLACK. ISN'T THAT WITTY? A comedic take on Elsword's hilariously bad plot. Like my others, this is an OC 'fic, set in the universe. They will be making fun of a lot of things in the land of Elsword. A lot. "Blah blah blah, the main plot's about some red-haired kid. HIS NAME IS IN EVERYTHING. SOMEONE EXPLAIN THAT TO ME..."
1. Chapter 1

Long ago, there was a continent of void and darkness.  
The soil was barren, stormy seas and wild disasters were everywhere, and the land itself was a barren wasteland. The continent has been called many names, "The Abandoned Country" or "God's Disaster". Gruesome legends grew around this desolate place and the people avoided the land at all costs.  
One day, however, began a miraculous transformation. The land was cultivated, plants everywhere began to sprout, the seas calmed, the storm was a gentle breeze, and life returned to the continent.  
There was a huge gem in the midst of the miracle that shone so bright that it defeated the darkness. The people were surprised at the strength of this stone and wondered what it even was. Fascinated, they gave the blue diamond a name: They called the gem the El Stone.  
Several generations passed and the dark past of the continent became a legend which was long forgotten. Plants flourished, the ground gave rich harvests, and gave people a carefree life. They no longer called this continent "The Land Abandoned by God" but instead, it was called Elrios.  
Ruben, the little hamlet situated in the northern region of Rurensia, is home to the great El-Tree which grew as a result of the Elstone.  
"HUUUUUUUUN," a very loud, and obviously irritated voice pierced the silence in the small, cozy wooden house. It was around noon, and the house had a nice breeze through it.  
"WHAAAAAAAAAT" came a slightly quieter, but possibly even more irritated voice, followed by grumbling and groaning and the sound of someone actually exerting effort to get up and move.  
"I'm huuungry," a dark skinned male whined, his head laid against the living room table, with his eyes half closed.  
"Then eaaaat." A pillow whacked him in the face, and a much lighter skinned girl stood in the doorway of the bedroom for a moment before turning to go back into it. There was a muffled _whump_ after a few seconds. The man had laid there and accepted the pillow, but slowly rose after taking hold of it... and his destiny. He crept over to the bedroom door, slowly peeking into it, then quickly pulling back to make sure he wasn't caught. Once he was sure, he slipped into the room, and with the utmost care, snuck over to the bed that the girl had been laying in. He looked upon her body and shoved the obvious thoughts out of his head. He loaded and cocked his pillow, raising it above his head.  
"Time to sleep... FOREVER!" He brought that pillow down on the girl like it was "the house" in the '70s. Anti-climactically, she just laid there. After a few moments went by with unsatifying results, the boy just sat there on the pillow, propping his head up with his arm.  
"I have been vanquished," the girl groaned, her face buried in the remaining pillow on the bed.  
"I get a new title. Haley Slayer." he replied with a nod.  
"You have to slay me five times first..." She rolled over, causing him to fall on the other side of the bed, and looked over at him with a blank expression and half-closed eyes. He only looked back at her with a happy expression, his eyes shut tight, a huge smile across his lips. She bopped him on the nose and rolled back over, groaning again as she did so. "So much woooork, rolling over..."  
"El Explorers! Front and center in five minutes! No later than five minutes!"  
"No," came Haley's muffled voice.  
"Yeah, no." the guy agreed, only to be cut off by another yell from Lowe.  
"THAT INCLUDES YOU, ZEKE!"  
Only a sigh came from Zeke, who fell back on top of the girl, sullen.  
"Can I stay in bed?" asked Haley with a glimmer of hope.  
"Only if I can. So no." he laughed, this time half heartedly.

Chapter 1: Who names their kids that? Seriously, like, who...

"Alright, roll call!" Lowe shouted, as the El Explorers were called upon by name. Though the group was very limited, most gave their best to try to improve their living conditions, but as per usual, there were some that were... less than caring.  
"Jack!"  
"Here."  
"Enrique!"  
"Present."  
"Elsword!"  
"I'm here!"  
Zeke almost instantly burst into laughter. "Who the FUCK!?" He could barely finish his sentence due to his own laughter, as well as a snap from Lowe.  
"Ezekial! Don't you dare insult ANOTHER new member! This is the fourth time this month! Shut your mouth!"  
"Yeah yeah yeah..." he said, still catching his breath from the laughter.  
With a sigh, Lowe continued.  
Once finished, he began to talk about the current situation.  
"As you may have heard, the notorious thief, B... Bathu-" he cleared his throat. "_Banthus_, had snuck in to our heavily guarded location housing the Tree of El, and stole the power of El."  
_Why is everything based off of this kid's name, _Zeke thought, not really paying attention to the plot. He had finally donned his usual outfit, with his Knight armor attachments equipped. Though the red-white-gold color scheme stayed constant, Zeke wore a simple, black, short sleeved top underneath his unzipped, hooded jacket. The hooded jacket itself was a deep shade of maroon, and attatched to it, were the armor plates, specifically the shoulder and arm guards, branded with the Scouts' insignia. His dark grey jeans were a bit on the baggy side, though held up by a belt with a golden fleur-de-lis belt buckle. The pants, though black, had a thin stripe on each pant leg the left's being white, the right's red, running from the waistline, all the way to the end of the cuff. His shoes were simple black and white running shoes, that fit perfectly snug on him. To top it all off, he wore his usual black and crimson cap, turned only slightly to the side. The symbol on the cap was a simple one: a flame, in the shape of the letter "W".  
Turning to his partner, he whispered, "Hey Hales, when is something important happening?"  
"Important things happen?" she replied, her eyes following a nearby butterfly. She had put on her usual El Scout gear, consisting of a not-so-tight top, colored a forest green, which was mostly covered due to her zipped up coat. The coat, though white and very fuzzy and warm on the inside, had a rich purple outer layer, much to Haley's liking. Her long, darkened blond hair fit well with the color pattern. Her light gray cargo pants gave her the freedom she needed to be able to roll around when necessary, and her black and white shoes were the complete opposite of Zeke's. Though the normal Scout gear focused on green, white, and gold, Haley considered herself wearing all three, though most were barely noticeable.  
"No one is allowed to go to the El Tree until further notice, and that is final." Lowe said, finalizing the order with a stamp of his foot. "Understood?"  
"Sir, yes sir!" Most of the group said. Zeke shrugged. Haley yawned.  
As the group finally dispersed, the remaining few sat down in the grassy plain, or just wandered around.  
"Can I go back to bed now?" Haley asked, tilting her head.  
"Nah, we're gonna go to the El Tree." Zeke nodded, with his eyes closed. He was cut off by a huge gasp.  
"But Lowe said that we can't do that! What, are you trying to dishonor the name of the El Explorers?!" a young, hot-headed boy shouted at Zeke.  
"Oh shit, it's that Elsword kid. Who even names their children that? Honestly, were your parents drunk?"  
"Hey, the Sword surname runs deep in my family!"  
"They're clearly from some kind of alcohol-ridden bloodline." Haley teased.  
"Is that a challenge?! How DARE you disrespect me!" Elsword shot back, drawing his sword, pointing it at Haley.  
Zeke walked toward the altercation, rotating his arm and cracking his neck, and placed his hand on the flat side of the sword. "This is a club. It's not even sharp..." He shoved it away from Haley before drawing his own blade, a custom made katana, that he held in a reverse grip.  
"Don't point swords at women, kid. It's not very polite." Zeke's gaze was as sharp as a few dozen knives as he turned to Elsword, his face switching from tired to a devious smirk. "If you wanna fight, kid, I'll mop the floor with you."

* * *

Author notes, from a Zeke's perspective: So. This is one out of a few I'll upload today. This one in particular was taken in a more comedic approach, unlike my usual "blah blah blah angry" or "saaaad" stories. I honestly like how it turned out, it's hilarious.

I'd like to see which of the stories gets more popularity, and hopefully get the motivation to continue them. Thanks, guys. If you're a bit confused, check my profile or leave me a PM, I'll be sure to explain a few, and post it around here. Thanks again!


	2. Chapter 2

"Fine then!" Elsword yelled, spinning his body around, swinging his weapon downward at Zeke, who sidestepped the attack. Elsword was still not to be made a fool of, and pulled his sword from the dirt, diagonally at Zeke. The black man let out a yawn, parrying the swipe by jamming his blade into the dirt between Elsword's strike and his leg. Though the force looked intense, Zeke barely moved when the swords connected.

"Are you actually mad? Oh shit, wait, really?" Zeke started to laugh again, despite Lowe's earlier reprimanding. Elsword just grit his teeth, lunging forward to tackle Zeke full force. Zeke was taken by surprise at the sudden unorthodox method of attack, and backed up a few steps as Elsword rolled on the ground.

"Not so tough now, huh?!" he shouted at Zeke, smirking, putting his sword on his shoulders. Zeke was trying so hard to hold it in, but the comment brought it forward and he broke out in laughter right in front of the kid. "That was just so DUMB! Ah god, I could beat you with two broken arms!"

Elsword had finally had enough, and in a fit of rage, pulled his sword back, a red glow covering it, to the point where it began to shake in Elsword's grip.

"Mega SLASH!" he shouted, taking a step, and swinging it at Zeke, a flurry of energy waves surrounding the sword, ready to crash at the point Zeke stood. Still recovering from laughter, Zeke forced himself to shake it off, and simply shut his eyes.

"O' magic blade, created from the forces of the wind, break free your dimensional prison and run through my enemy."

As he finished his statement, a small, circular portal seemed to rip through the space behind Zeke as he whipped around to the other side of the portal, avoiding Elsword's strike, looking away from his opponent. With a scoff, he ended the incantation, throwing his hand forward, toward Elsword. "Wind Blade!" An ethereal blade forced its way through the portal, as it broke like glass. The attack found its' way to Elsword's chest and forced him to his back, though not piercing him.

"Don't kill him, jeez..." Haley sighed, her voice dropping to a whisper in order not to attract attention. "They won't let us eat dinner..."

"You're saying it like I'm some kind of idiot or something..." Zeke sideglanced at her after making sure that there weren't many, if any, spectators. The only ones that were near weren't in earshot, which gave Zeke some relief.

Haley looked Zeke up and down, sizing him up, as she often did. "Idiot?... Well..."

Suddenly, rustling was heard from the nearby forest trees. Haley was the first to turn, Zeke quickly following suit. He did a double-take, to make sure Elsword would be okay, and signaled another Scout member to their location. After a quick lie, the member took Elsword and brought him away, leaving Zeke and Haley alone to find out the disturbance in the forest that was quickly being blanketed by nightfall.

"If we die, it's your fault." Haley flatly stated, loading ammunition into her Silver Shooters.

"If we live, you're making dinner." Zeke replied. Haley just scoffed, knowing full well that she wasn't going to do anything once the day was through.

The two swiftly avoided nearby guards, and began their investigation. She was the first to notice a group of three thieves near the river, making their way around the outside of the tree. They were taking the roundabout path to the top of the tree, which housed the giant El Crystal.

"Hm. They don't look like any good guys from here. You see anything weird yet?" Haley asked, whispering through a two-way radio.

"Save for this random chicken-looking-thing...?" Zeke said, punting a Ruchi away from his post, shaking his foot in disgust. "No."

Under the shroud of night, the two slipped past a few more guards, making sure not to be seen nor heard, up the footholds around the base, and finally made it to their destination: the Tree of El.

A beautiful and expansive summit, hidden away in the treetops, came into the view of the two. Though blanketed in the cover of darkness, the glow that the huge crystal of El gave off was enough to light the pathway ahead of them. The tree leaves were solidified due to the crystal's power, and moss grew on the leaves, making for a slippery ground to cover.

"Whoah..." Zeke was in awe. He had been around the base of the tree, but had never actually bothered to climb to the top. He stopped for a moment to absorb the atmosphere, at the pure energy bouncing around, giving the area an astounding glow.

"Pretty..." Haley felt the same way; her stare bounced from crystal to crystal, the light of the energy given off by them amazed her. She felt like she could float away on the spheres of light that were tumbling into the sky as lazily as they did.

"HEY! Who the hell are you!? You're not a part of my crew!" came a gruff voice from a direction neither of the two were looking in. With a swing, a giant pirate sword was brought down at Zeke, who barely managed to block himself with his own blade. Haley pulled her handgun out, aimed at the newcomer, but she knew to hold her fire until it was sure who he was.

He was a bulky man, looking around his mid twenties, with messy chestnut colored hair. He had a black vest on over a white shirt, his sleeves were rolled up, and his vest was zipped. His white pants were tucked into his boots, and were held up by a red cloth, which also held multiple pouches for storage. T he distinguishing features of his person, however, were the scar over his right eye, forcing it to keep shut, and the loose gold necklace swaying with each of his movements.

"BENTHAS!?" Zeke shouted, pushing his opposition back, then jumped back to Halo to gain further distance.

"Wh... No, it's BANTHUS! The pirate thief lord!" he chuckled heartily after his introduction.

"Wait, so you steal pirates?" Halo asked, confused.

"... What?" Banthus looked at the girl.

Zeke folded his arms. "Well, you're a pirate thief lord. If I were a treasure thief, I steal treasure. You're a pirate thief. Do you steal pirates?"

"No! What are you even talking about?" Banthus' arms dropped to his sides, as he leaned forward, exasperated.

"Where does 'lord' even come into play there? Do you own a group of people who steal pirates? Are you a slave driver?" Zeke questioned further.

"Where are you even GETTING these notions?!" Banthus yelled at the heavens.

"I just think you have a really stupid title." Zeke smiled.

"Stupid or not... Zeke, we're gonna have to take care of Bancus quick, okay?" Zeke nodded to Haley's remark.

"IT'S BANTHUS!" he roared, charging directly at the duo, who took up their arms, ready for battle.


End file.
